In every band, there’s an unwritten hierarchy, and the bassist? Well, they’re usually at the bottom. Why? Because the world simply isn’t ready for the greatness of the four-string hero. While the lead singer imagines themselves as a rock god and the guitarist drowns in their own solos, the bassist stands there… angry. And rightfully so, because if anyone gets the short end of the stick in the eternal battle for attention in a band, it’s our friendly neighborhood bassist.
The stage drama: “Where’s my spotlight?”
Imagine this: the lead singer basks in full stage lighting. The guitarist? They get at least one epic moment in the spotlight for a solo that feels as long as the construction of the Eiffel Tower. And the drummer? They’re tossing their sticks in the air like they’re performing the grand finale of a circus act. And the bassist? Hidden in the shadows at the back of the stage, just out of range of the monitors, barely able to hear themselves.
Cue the frustration. Why doesn’t the bassist get the same spotlight? They hold the whole band together with their groove, and without them, the performance would sound like the band is still in a soundcheck. But no, there’s never a beam of light for them. While the rest of the band shines front and center, the bassist is left wondering if anyone even knows they’re up there.
The eternal battle with the guitarist
There’s an unspoken rule that the bassist and guitarist are locked in an eternal rivalry. Why? Because the guitarist takes up way too much space. Let’s be real: guitarists always play too many notes. While the bassist is trying to lay down a solid foundation, the guitarist goes off on a solo like they’re auditioning for Bohemian Rhapsody: Part Two. The result? The bassist stands there, grumbling, while the guitarist fills every possible silence with yet another riff.
The bassist knows their four strings are more than enough. They don’t need to play a hundred notes per second to impress anyone. Their groove is subtle but essential. Unfortunately, the rest of the band doesn’t always understand this, leaving the bassist to quietly seethe while the guitarist taps out another unnecessary solo.
Bassists never get the groupies
A painful truth: nobody wants the bassist. The lead singer? A fan magnet. The guitarist? The cool rebel everyone wants to be. Even the drummer—who, let’s face it, just bangs on stuff—gets attention. But the bassist? They’re lucky if they get a nod from the roadie for carrying the amp.
Why is that? Why doesn’t the bassist get the same love? Maybe because they’re too busy hiding behind their instrument, or maybe the world just hasn’t discovered the true sensuality of the bass guitar yet. It’s a mystery, but one that leads to the bassist glaring out at the crowd with a simmering resentment. And honestly, who can blame them?
The Bassist’s Wrath
In truth, the bassist’s anger boils down to a lack of appreciation. They’re the backbone of the band, the invisible force keeping everything in harmony. And yet, they’re overshadowed by flashy guitarists and egotistical singers. No wonder the bassist is always angry. They have every right to be.
But you know what? That anger is their strength. Because without the bass, without that low, rumbling foundation, the band would be nowhere. So, next time you’re at a concert, give the bassist a round of applause. Without them, the whole thing would fall apart, and without their simmering rage, we wouldn’t have a groove to dance to.
And who knows, maybe they’ll even crack a smile.
